I don't know how to handle this feeling, I dont know. I get depressed and I am filled with dark thoughts most of the time. I have a terrible inferiority complex that doesn't leave me in peace. Now, I cant stop compare me with the ex-girlfriends of the person I love. He committed the error of showing me their photos and tell me about them, not noticing that I have this complex so destructive. I look them , and look at myself and I just want to cry . They are smarter than me, have more experience in love, are living in other countries and I? I'm here, and still unable to fly and face the world. I despair wondering what he saw in them. I know they are more beautiful than me, thats clear , perhaps because of their intelligence, they have a career and I'm just an idiot that feeds on their dreams. But I'm almost certain that they didn't treat him as I treat him , I know that sometimes I act like a child and I see the world differently. I have fear, I tried to be a special person to him but I couldn't. I honestly feel that this is so .... And this feeling is made worse when I realize that he is my inspiration and my desires to live and I hate that feeling. There are many reasons but perhaps the more painful is that I can not be his support, I cannot contain or teachs him nothing. My life was and remains different from his and the image I have of him bring me down even more. Because he makes me feel more complete, he has known how to hear me and made me feel protected and I'm desperate to see I am not the most special person for him as he is for me. That hurts and it hurts me.
If he only knew that I think of him every single second of my life and when I reminds his voice, his chats a sweet smile escapes from my lips maybe he can understand he makes me the happiest girl in the world and I would give my all to make him happy.

BLACK VEIL BRIDES "Perfect Weapon" OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

I have the wonderful gift of destroying feelings.
I don't feel pleasure doing it,
it only convince me to deserve this loneliness

This is the dark side of me,
Wish I could stop these bad feelings that I really
I'm just a soul full of resentment, full of fear to spread its wings and know the reality
I'm just a soul looking for love, I don't want to suffer
but my own selfishness, the hate to myself
destroys me and destroys everyone who wants to love me

I could never decipher the codes of life
I am not in tune with the world
this does not seem to be a place for me ....

Cinema Bizarre - My Obsession

"My Obsession"

If you want me to listen whisper
If you want me to run just walk
Wrap your name in lace and leather
I can hear you
You don't need to talk

Let us make thousand mistakes
Cause we will never learn

You're my obsession
My fetish, my religion
My confusion, my confession
The one I want tonight
You are my obsession
The question and conclusion
You are, you are, you are
My fetish you are

You can kiss me with your torture
Tie me up to golden chains
Leave me beggin undercover
Wrong or right
It's all a role play

Let us make a thousand mistakes
We will never learn

You're my obsession
My fetish, my religion
My confusion, my confession
The one I want tonight
You're my obsession
The question and conclusion
You are, you are, you are
My fetish you are

Come to me tonight

You're my obsession
My fetish, my religion
My confusion, my confession
The one I want tonight
You're my obsession
The question and conclusion
You are, you are, you are
My fetish you are

Black Veil Brides Knives and Pens Live @ Bipolar 8 29 09

Injured Innocence

It was hard to face what happened. It was not the right way and I know it was my fault. I was silent out of fear. you begin to imagine and believe in your fantasies. And I did not dare to tell the truth. You, you thought my life was a mystery, when in fact it was like an open book. And the day that my innocence was hurt came. The day that your pleasure was my pain came . We loved each other in different ways. I felt ashamed to think that you could only laugh at my face if I told you what really happened to me. You did not know how to read my signs, you didn't know how to see the truth in my eyes and the saddest thing is you couldn't hear my heart. That is the reason why you could never understand my fears, that's the reason why you could never understand what it feels destroy a feeling that made you feel that there was a special place of refuge. That is the reason why you could never understand what it feels like an injured innocence.....

In Hiding

(by Pearl Jam)

I shut and locked the front door
No way in or out
I turned and walked the hallway
I knelt and emptied the mouth of every club around
but nothing's sound nothing's sound

I'd stay but my last cab left me
ignored all my rounds
soon I was seeing visions and cracks along the walls
they were upside down

I swallow my words to keep from lying
I swallow my face just to keep from biting I... I
I swallowed my breath and went deep, I was diving , diving
I surfaced when all of my being was enlightened

I'm in hiding
I'm in hiding
I'm in hiding

It's been about three days now
since I've been aground
no longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now
It's funny when things change so much
it's all state of mind

I swallowed my words to keep from lying
I swallowed my face just to keep from biting I..I..
I swallow my breath and went deep I was diving I was diving
I surfaced and all around my being was enlightened

Now I'm in hiding
I'm in hiding
I'm in hiding
I'm in hiding
I'm Inhiding
I'm in hiding